3 Tips For Dealing With Self Defeatism

Updated: Sep 8, 2020

The pressure is on ... the uncertainty is on and, tomorrow requires another brave face.

In 2020, many people felt and are still feeling the burn of increased hardships piling up on them. In addition to the financial squeeze felt by changing (or ending) industries, ones they have relied on for income or convenience, individuals can face hopelessness in others around them becoming negative. When those closest to you throw the towel in, their conduct towards you may influenced by their depression, lack of self confidence and other emotions. Here's three tips on how to navigate these attacks.

1. The way others treat you has more to do with them. this includes family, strangers, enemies, friends, partners, etc. This includes narcissists that discard you in the aftermath of any type of relationship with your potentially berating yourself for not having seen it coming. There is no way that when you appeared, their "beliefs" were your fault or your responsibility.

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2. Don't fall into the "comfortable" mental pattern (soon to be a trap of inactivity piling onto inactivity) of who is wrong, who is to blame, who is at fault, how much there is in scarcity. Shift to what you can do today in positive and creative actions in building forward to what other good things and people are out there. Waiting to be met, waiting to be served, waiting to talk to you, waiting to build that new business relationship with you, waiting to get to know you better, waiting to buy from you in whatever product or service, waiting to see you as a thought leader, waiting to tell their friends about you, etc. The longer we coast in the comfort of gloom and doom, the longer we keep the miracles outside our front door.

3. Be careful with habits. What starts out as one small moment can become a spiderweb of side effects. Be aware of your daily and weekly rituals: do they bring out your best? Or, do your habits feed the wolf on your shoulder as the Native Americans say? What you cater to more becomes your reality for tomorrow. My third tip is to get honest about how you treat yourself. Do you trash yourself with food, drink, words and not cleaning your home or office? Or do you honor your vessel and steward what you have been trusted with?

These tips relate to your legacy because what we can bring and what we do bring can be wide and far in the difference. Many of us are more afraid of our best potential so we stay trapped by something(s) or someone(s) - retirement package? blackmail? greenmail? - compared saying enough is enough and finally aligning our life with our core values.

My call to action for you, lovely, is to find your "why" that is big enough to get you passionate, or feel enough of another emotion other than despair, to live differently. To wake up differently. To start your day differently.

If you need or want to find a coach, consider the "Co-Active Training Institute" graduates or The International Coach Federation. Or, schedule an introductory session with Legacy Planning.

You, your family or your circle of influence will thank you in the long run. Or if you would like a discovery session with me, reach out via email or phone. Support is available to keep your momentum moving forward for your legacy.


Most leaders receive enormous support in growing their professional goals, while they have little to no support to grow their bigger vision or dreams. At Legacy Planning, we guide clients for 12 months to move them from concept to completion. When clients retain us, we increase their wealth by aligning their values & developing their focus so their legacy becomes a reality.

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