The Women Who Came Before: Roles & Opportunities

I invite you to reflect on your posterity as I share the last 134 years of my female ancestry.

The focus is on the roles these women had as well as their opportunities to showcase their talents. History is often times viewed through the identity and careers of men, where sons are encouraged and promoted, while the acknowledgement of the ladies can be left muted.

Yet, women - no matter the century - are more than robots or to be known only by their husband's contributions to society.

In learning about my lineage and thus, how I was groomed in my upbringing and what was influential, this blog post acknowledges the strengths of the females who came before me. Before we begin though, it is noted title often moves down males lines ever since medieval times, but women still do have a significance by their actions and competencies in what they brought to their families and communities.

Starting with my mother, she was raised to master all aspects of growing sesame leaves (for sesame oil and seeds), red peppers, cucumbers, eggplants, lettuce, sweet potatoes, spinach, wheat, barley, oat, chestnuts, pear trees, persimmons, red beans, soy beans, tobacco, cotton and silkworms over many acres of farmland. She was a role model in her example of consistent efforts and discipline no matter the landscape or season.

She went on to become a trained nurse, working under a few doctors and surgeons, in S. Korea. In the 1970's, she realized the corporate world was skewed towards males and she chose to raise her daughters to thrive in any culture given the gender lens of how she was treated. Knowing the feeling of being marginalized in the decades of her lifetime since the 50's, she focused her knowledge base around nutrition where food served as medicine.

In her private time, she developed her talent and artistic expression by sowing elaborate quilts and custom clothes. She was also self motivated to become bilingual.

Her mother, my maternal grandmother (upper right), was known for her gift in sales, remembering people's names and dates such as birthdays in her keen memory. Given her skill with human relations, she raised capital to send all her children to school as there was no free education and books in the 40's and 50's. She kept her accounting books accurate to maintain trust with investors for a variety of causes and projects. I wish there were more photos of her. The reason she kept perfect records was due to her husband's forgetfulness.

It was also important for my maternal grandmother, Mrs. Kim, to show balanced attention to her daughters given a culture that favored males. And like many ethnic cultures, she passed away in her home and to then be buried by family in a private ceremony away from any outside commercial entities. She gave gold rings to her babies for their one year birthday.

While often left out of history books, Japan had an influence after the war. Mrs. Kim knew how to survive the control of Japanese military soldiers by her creating quiet alliances with neighbors for 15 miles around in the countryside. These relations proved useful. She would rely on my mother's intuitive/psychic abilities to sense danger when there needed to be a rush to hide children, animals, and food while surrounding temples were burned in the 50's,

As a woman born in 1923, Mrs. Kim held her own to the day cancer took her at age 58; she did not buy into being a helpless woman. She transferred her value of stability as well as training others in survival skills and the capacity to think on one's feet.

Mrs. Kim managed teams of farm workers in the planting and harvesting of crops each year. She would give her servants barley, vegetables and other gifts to maintain long term relations. She would also keep an eye on all neighbors to share food at any time.

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On my paternal side, my paternal grandmother chose to pursue her Master's Degree after her children reached age 18. Marcia Smart Carleton became President of the League of Women Voters and a librarian at Ripon College in Wisconsin. She wanted her own career in her ambition, purpose and direction.

Mrs. Carleton's strength was her maintaining stability through a strong sense of keeping a public face in contrast to her private side. Since she was in the public as a minister's wife, she knew how to keep her emotions steady and respond politely at all times. She would not allow herself to ever get upset in public. Perhaps it was her diligence as a Victorian woman born and raised in New England who learned how to control her emotions in the public.

Though it was frowned upon for women to work outside the home, she exceled in her penmanship, keeping meeting notes and organizing books. Similar to a journalist who reports events, she did not use "emotional" words and kept to the facts in writing her reports. Marcia was sensitive to gender discrimination and there was no "Me Too" movement.

While she believed her librarian boss was biased towards women moving up, she took pride in her organizational skills with the books and her record keeping. Her penmanship was excellent as in her standard of "this is the way you do it" as in "do it right" the first time.

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Marcia's mother (my great grandmother), Lilian Holland Smart, had a strength for being open minded compared to a judgmental Victorian woman's mindset. She, Lilian Holland Smart, went to Smith College between 1908-1912. While it was not fashionably for women to have a career, she found her leadership roles with volunteer organizations. She had lived at 194 Fays Ave in Lynn, MA.

She was known for her sense of humor and her artistic expression of creating braided rugs in her appreciation of interior design. She bought the best mahogany furniture and had an independent spirit for a woman more than 100 years ago. Lilian is in the upper left hand photograph in the center of the three women.

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Marcia's mother in law, Myrtis, was known for her skills as a socialite and her ability to write sentimental cards and thank you letters to associates and friends. She was thoughtful about birthdays and remembering details so as to write gracious notes.

She managed household maids as well as few live in nannies. Laundry was sent out to be cleaned, in paper bags with string around it. She was known at having and entertaining guests, where guests would sign a book upon their arrival in proper Victorian conduct.

Myrtis was more informed on the news and events, in her sharp mind, than her husband. She did not drive or have a driver's license as she was driven around. She was feisty in she believed things had to be done a certain way. Her baby pictures ironically resemble my niece 99% (lower left photograph in the image), though the timing is a century apart.

In preserving the female identities, details and photographs become sparse prior to the late 1800's. The photograph at the top is of my great grandfather's mother in Maine, though her strengths and talents were not documented. And on my maternal side, much history was not written down or recorded.

As I watch the examples of how they steered their lives and the actions they took, I can see how society looked at and perceived them as well as how they saw themselves in a world of male privilege. None of these women wanted to suspend their independence and when their roles were demanding, there was little to no work/life balance. If I were to take an inventory, there are fundamental skills about farming, sewing, bookkeeping, organization, socializing and raising capital.

What traits or parallels do you see when you take a moment to reflect 3 generations back with your lineage? How are you leading a legacy to empower yourself as well as the next, or rising, generation? And what roles did your mother, grandmothers as well as a great mothers play in your role and opportunities?